Life – Page 2 – whatleydude.com

Me and my friends

a parable for the ambitious

I’ve been thinking about the future a lot of late. Not about flying cars or memory implants and what not, more along the lines of having an actual plan.

2011 has nearly come and gone and the blank canvas I stared upon at the crest of the year is once again gushing towards me like a second, more powerful, ocean wave rearing its head up and over the naked shore.

Advice is sought, advice is given and sometimes, in the most surprising places, advice is discovered. Over the past six to eight months or so, the same piece of counsel has been recurring time and time again from a myriad of different vessels.

If I don’t do something about it soon, I fear I will drown in the flood.
“It’s like the old joke…”

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in.

“No,” replied the man on the roof. “I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me.” So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. “Climb in!” shouted a man in the boat.

“No,” replied the man on the roof. “I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me.” So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof.

“No,” replied the man on the roof. “I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me.” So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God.

“Heavenly Father,” he said, “I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?”

God gave him a puzzled look, and replied “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”

Have faith.
Listen to those around you.
Defend ideas.
Be smarter.

But most of all: have a plan.

Whatley out.

fall

It’s Saturday.

Leaves have fallen and the air is crisp; today is the first day I smelt autumn.

I love this time of year.

It’s my favourite season for so many reasons: the deep brown colours, the change of temperature and the quiet, slow excitement of what’s to come. Autumn’s arrival tells me my birthday is near.

Except, things are different this time.

I don’t know if any of you have ever had your birthday ruined before. It’s not a nice feeling. In fact, it’s pretty bloody awful. Close friends will know (as will those who have read the piece I wrote for CALM) that my birthday last year was probably the worst day of 2010.

The day before, was amazing. A great day out shopping & hanging out in town then later, my awesome birthday party. Benny came dressed as Beetlejuice, friends old and new mixed together, hell, even my family came.

Less than 24hrs later, on the evening of November 21st – my actual birthday – my then girlfriend of two years decided that it would be an ideal time to end our relationship over [what I was then told] ‘trust issues’. Wrongly accusing me of cheating, she was up and out of the flat before the week was out.

It nearly killed me. How do you prove yourself innocent when the other party has convinced themselves you’re guilty?

After months of blaming myself, I uncovered the truth: she hadn’t broken up with me over trust at all. She had, in fact, decided to leave me for one of my alleged best mates and was too cowardly to tell me. A chance meeting with the latter (after general avoidance and non-returning of calls) back in March started that avalanche of information.

The night I found out everything, the week before I headed off to Siberia, my friends were stunned. They expected me to be livid, to be more angry. But honestly? When all the pieces finally fell into place? I felt relieved.

Relieved that I wasn’t at fault, relieved that the pain and angst I’d been carrying around for monthsÂ could finally lift and most of all relieved that I was out of the sick, twisted, horrid mess that I’d mistaken for two people I could love and trust.

Today is the first day of autumn for me. My birthday is just around the corner. I stepped out of the flat this afternoon, took a huge lung full of air and… I remembered.

A couple of weeks ago someone dear to me asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. “I don’t know” I replied. Then I remembered what happened last year. The fake smiles at the party, the secret plans behind my back – I panicked.

“What will I do? What can I do? God, last year was terrible..”

But y’know what? Life is better now. So much better. Life has moved on, love hasÂ moved onÂ and, best of all, the people around me are amazing.

When I first started writing this about an hour ago, I was full expecting it to a be low,Â melancholicÂ exploration of how now the change of season has made me sad. Instead it’s a celebration of autumn, the beautiful season it is and a look up toward the amazing birthday I’ve got lined up for next month.

Bring. It. On.

[Private post – made public Dec 23rd, 2011]

I’ve been away…

…to sort a few things out.

A few weeks ago I flew to Moscow for a couple of days and from there, caught the train to Beijing (stopping off for a few nights in Ulanbator, Mongolia along the way). The journey itself was perfect and pretty much exactly what I needed.

To put things in perspective: over the past month I’ve jogged around Red Square in the morning snow, galloped across the Mongolian desert in the afternoon sun and – thanks to a midday downpour – got soaked to the skin deep within the Forbidden City. ‘Spectacular’ doesn’t quite do it justice.

There’s much to catch up on [and a fair amount of moleskinerie to write up] but for now, it’s good to be home.

Relationships. Matter.

If you’ve clicked through in the vein hope of finding my next post on why ‘relationship marketing matters to brands’ then sorry, not today. Today is about something else.

Relationships matter.

Your relationships matter. Your family. Your friends. Your loved ones. Your other half. Your soul-mate. The relationships you have with the people that matter, matter.

I would’ve quit my job last year if it would’ve meant saving my relationship. Alas, for me, it was too late. I heard a story today of someone else going through a break up because of work and just last night someone else told let me that, after a particularly bad period, they introduced a work veto; if at any point work gets too much, and has a negative impact on their lives together, then it stops. The work, the fighting. Everything.

Life is too short, too damn complicated and far too sweet to spend it working every God-given day and night on something that – if it really doesn’t make a difference to life or death – really isn’t worth it.

To top it all off, thanks to the endless source of knowledge and amusement that is Stefan Constantinescu, I’ve just seen this –

If this is you, then stop. Right now.

It isn’t worth it.

Relationships matter.

Not the one between you and your client. Nor the one between you and your customers. But the one between you, the love of your life and your kids.

Life is short, make the most of it.
Please.

Yes, I’m talking to you.

Leaf

autumn
——green
———-crisp
————-photography
———————teddington
——————————-home
———————————-falling
—————————————trees
——————————the smell
———————-the sound
————————–the colours
————————————so big
——————————————-oh
——————————————–sadness
————————————————-seasons
———————————————–life
————————————–changes
———————————————–new
————————————————-green
—————————————————–love
——————————————————-starting over
——————————————————————–bright
————————————————————————-fresh
———————————————————————————–Again

Me and St. Pete

a parable for the envious

There are times in my life when I love my job, there are times in my life when I hate my job, there are times in my life when my job opens my eyes to something so freakingly awesome but no matter what happens, I can never tell anyone.

Friends ask me often if I enjoy what I do, whether I’ve seen anything cool lately and/or if I can tell them of anything I’ve seen – “Y’know, blogger to blogger?”

More often than not, I respond with the following – “It’s like the old joke…”

A preacher who liked to play golf every Wednesday at a modest public golf course was standing on the elevated tee at the sixth hole of that course...

He took a few practice swings, and looked across the river to the immaculate private country club nearby.

“Just once I’d like to play at that gorgeous course,” the preacher said to his foursome.

Another player spoke up:

“My company has a reserved tee time at that club for us every Sunday morning, and it’s all paid for, too. But all of a sudden yesterday the boss says we have to travel out of town for a week. It’s a shame to let that tee time go to waste. I could give you a guest pass and you could have it all to yourself. Would do you say?”

Of course this was a dream come true for the preacher, but it put him in a terrible predicament. If he accepted the gift, he would have to miss Sunday worship. He thought to himself,

“I haven’t missed a Sunday service in 17 years of preaching. A sin to be sure, but I am after all just a man trying to do my best like all the rest.”

He succumbed to temptation and accepted the invitation.

On Sunday, the preacher awoke, called his deacon, and said, “I’m terribly sick today, and will not be able to offer service.”

“Well, we surely hope you are feeling better soon,” said the deacon. “What matters most it that your health is blessed, and we shall all pray for you today.”

This made the preacher feel a little guilty, but it was a beautiful clear cool morning, and promised to be a beautiful day. He opened a box from under the bed that had a new folded golf shirt, his cleaned and polished golf shoes, and he put them on instead of his usual clothes.

Later, on the beautiful practice green, the preacher fit right in but couldn’t help feeling conspicuous. At that exact moment up in Heaven, Saint Peter was looking down. He said to God,

“Do you see what is happening down there? I’m very disappointed in this preacher. Surely you are going to do something?”

God replied, “Don’t worry Pete, I’ve got it all figured out.”

St. Pete knew it was best not to question any further, but to just wait patiently and watch for it all to play out. He watched the preacher walk confidently to the first tee, a short par-4. The preacher teed it up, and hit a pretty fair drive, low and straight.

But just then, God waived his hand and created the perfect little wind. The wind carried the ball as if in the hand of God and lifted it down the fairway. The ball took once bounce and landed on the green, kept rolling, swung to the right, barely crept up to the hole, and fell in. It was beautiful.

Up in heaven, St. Pete was very upset.

“An albatross! Are you kidding me? Here is one of our own preachers committing this sin, on a Sunday no less. Just when I’m certain that you are going to offer up the perfect punishment to befit the sin, you instead go and reward him with a once-in-a-lifetime shot?”

God says, “Yes, but calm down Pete. Who is he going to tell?”

I love my job.
I get to see the coolest things in the world before anyone ever will.
My eternal curse is that 99.99 times out of 100?
I’m never going to be able to tell anyone.
Damn.

Images via Paul Clarke

Minty

Moleskine entry: January 5th, 2011

I have a new Moleskine.
This makes me happy.

It was a gift from those lovely folk @ Mint Digital (more than likely, orchestrated by my dear friend Utku), to mark the start of 2011*
Thanks Utterz. I like it.

So. Plans for the year then? I have two. Travel and dance. Doing more of both. The former I’m working on, the latter also.

I guess if I’m completely honest with myself, one underlying goal for the year ahead would be not to share as much. For the last two years (more so than before at least) I’ve lived my life openly, on the internet – and decorated it accordingly. In the same way that one would in his own house, I shared my happiness, my joy and my deepest loves on the walls around me.

If it made me smile, or if I thought it would do the same for someone, else then I shared it. But now…?

Now the largest piece of that puzzle has disappeared and, whenever I visit this place I once called home, it is not long before I wander into a memory of times gone past. It’s not like I can even show people around; an image here, a link there, an oblique reference off to the right – it happens.

This year, whatever comes my way, I’ll be keeping a fair amount of it back (more than I did before at least anyway).

For now, that’s how things have to be.

James Whatley
5/1/11

Postcard from LA

I’ve been in LA for nearly a week now and it’s been fairly intense; working solid from 10am through ’til 4am most days (while my body tries to adjust to the time difference) and generally trying to keep on top of things. We wrapped project one on Sunday morning and project two wraps tonight; it’s been a helluva ride.

Fortunately, thanks to the timings of both projects, I was able to take Sunday night and Monday morning off to catch up with my friends Matt and Jen. The former introduced me to Ryan Penagos, aka Agent_M, the editor for Marvel.com (so much geekery was had!), and the latter took a colleague and I down to Dog Beach for a midday stroll in the Sun.

Sitting in the sunshine two weeks from Christmas is a very odd feeling indeed.

What else is new?

I’ve decided to take up dance again and I’m writing a truck load more these days too. A friend got one of my pieces published recently; non-trade, in-print and actually out there in the real world, so that’s quite exciting. I have a couple more I want to submit, so we’ll see if that leads anywhere.

Thing is, you know that bit in Star Trek where Spock tells the rest of the crew how everything has changed? That now, thanks to Nero’s actions, they’re all living in an alternate reality…?

Yeah. That.

Things are different now.

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Life at 30

Moleskine entry: July 15th, 2010

It’s not too bad. Today’s date is July 15th 2010. In 20mins I’ll be in Canada which… is interesting. I was upgraded today. Seat 3G. That was nice.

Saying that, I am tired. But to be fair, that’s down to lack of sleep over and above anything else.

Son, Daughter – one day I hope you’ll read this. Read about ‘Dad’s Travels’. I bought my first map last week. Stickers a plenty all over it, yours too one day.

Where was I?

Yes, that’s it; Son, Daughter – take one piece of advice from your old man; Be Happy. There aren’t many things in life that are really, truly worth worrying about. Life & Death, certainly. But that’s it. Your life can be as happy as you want it to be. Good things happen to good people. It’s true! Now don’t mock the clichÃ©, please. I mean it. My endless optimism has seen me all right so far. I hope and hope that, if anything, you get that from me.

Yours,

James
— who one day, will be your Dad, X

10 days

Moleskine entry: 27th September, 2009

Has it really been that long?

I haven’t been home in over two weeks. I miss my bed. Not for now.

The long summer of travel is drawing to an end (after a bonus Oxfam-related trip to the U.S.) and, this coming Thursday, I formally start at 1000heads. I’m told there’ll be plenty of travel involved but I imagine it won’t be anywhere near as intense as this.

It feels like I’ve been getting my hands dirty again.

You can only sit in an office and strategise for so long, sometimes you need to get there and just do it for yourself. Go out and learn a few things, rediscover why you love what you do so much and ultimately reset your point of view on the world.

This past summer I’ve been through the deserts of Africa, the mountains of Wyoming and glaciers of the French/Italian Alps. From baboons in Botswana to Zebra in Zimbabwe… I’ve been the luckiest man in the world.

The scenery, breathtaking. The wildlife, stunning. The people? It’s a clichÃ© but it really has been all about the people. As I close my moleskine for another day, that’s not a bad thought to take end on at all.

The Sun is setting over London as we make our final approach. I need to draw this to an end. The deep red sky brings a warm smile to my face and I sigh.

Home. Home at last.