Sat in green. The air is cool. Four vehicles in view: two similar, two practical. The trees are cut purposefully into square arrangements. It is unclear why. Three squares of trees, four if you count that one twice, stand on hills. Their shared diagonal rooves sharing the same degree as the angle they’re growing upon.
There were hedgehogs here last night. Two of them, fattening up quickly before hibernating into the long winter months that lay ahead. 650 grams is the minimum weight required for a hedgehog to survive its seasonal sleep. The little lad finishing off the plates last night knows it and will keep returning until his internal body scales tell him it’s OK. I wish him well.
Back to those hills, rising up like the arched backs of sleeping giants, they surround us. Left, hills. Forward, hills. Right, hills. It is only the gravel track behind us that provides any route out of this deep maze and even that feels like driving through the bottom of a ravine. As a result, the wind barely comes down and it is a magnificent anomaly of nature. There is no wind to be felt, in this hole between hills, and yet the clouds above race by at an incredible speed.
My mind jumps briefly. From here, sat still in green, to there, racing past in white. And I wonder if it feels still up there. If the cloud looks down and marvels at how fast the world is turning below it. I wonder.
The cows are moving. Up high on the hill ahead, a heard of around 40 bovines have erupted into noise. They are being herded, slowly, up and over the crest. Their silhouettes atop the hill would make a beautiful photograph – perhaps I’ll try to draw it later.
When I was a kid we had a thing called Video City. I remember renting things like The Never Ending Story, They Live, and Transformers: The Movie. When Blockbuster opened in my home town it was like all my Christmases had come at once; not only could you rent videos but you could get video games as well!
Weekends would never be the same again.
Bodger will remember these great days. Tony will too.
A short, three letter word. It’s the sound some make when they yawn. The guttural release when something goes right; a goal, a catch, a winning pitch. The word that allows the massacre of innocent children.
War.
A short, three letter word. It’s the sound some make when they yawn. The guttural release when something goes right; a goal, a catch, a winning pitch. The word that allows the massacre of innocent children. From five months old to five years old. Below and beyond. Children are dying. This is no epidemic. There is no disease. This is war.
Words float around on TV screens around the office: Hamas. Israel. Gaza. Tunnels. Occupation. Palestine. Terrorism. Defence. Western influence. Children.
My phone, a product of its generation, offers up emoji whenever I hit upon a corresponding keyword.
I type Child. And 👶 appears.
I type Children. And 🚸 appears.
A toddler’s face, smiling.
Two children, holding hands.
The harsh reality is only made harder when illustrated in the language of the young.
It makes you sick.
There aren’t many I know who could explain the situation in Israel right now. The issues are far too old, far too complex, far too beyond the point of understanding that there can be no cliff notes, no cheat sheet.
My son is six months old. I look at him and wonder, often, what he might do, where he might go, what he will see? How can I leave something good for him, something positive?
And then I look around and I despair.
The situation in Gaza is horrendous. The Channel 4 journalist Jon Snow published a video over the weekend talking about his time there.
A follow up piece to a blog post he wrote before that, it addresses some of the atrocities that are happening to children in the area.
It makes you weep.
After watching, I shared it on Facebook. On Facebook. Others watched. Others shared. I commented on one share that perhaps the video should’ve explained how a viewer could help. Maybe some kind of call to action. The cheek. The Western presumed privilege. The disgusting arrogance. ‘Great video, Jon, but are you expecting me to Google it now?’ FFS.
I did Google it. I discovered the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund. I’ve donated and right now I’m looking at how I might volunteer in the region and actually help.
Because something needs to be done.
Because someone needs to help.
Because we are better than this.
So much better.
//
I uninstalled Twitter last week. Logged out, switched off, unplugged.
The reason? Someone I follow retweeted an image of a dead child into my feed. A grotesque corpse. Held up by adults to show the literal effect of the missiles and shells that rain down on Gaza daily. It/he/she can never be unseen. Twitter displays images ‘inline’, which means you can see whatever gets sent no matter what.
I went into shock. Seeing death, in any form, is no pleasure for anyone. Seeing death like this. In this manner. Made me ill. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t think. I could barely see straight. Since then a day hasn’t passed whereby I haven’t thought on this. So many thoughts. So many reasons.
Again, Western privilege.
Again, how dare dead children interrupt my day. What on earth are these images doing in the place where it is my job to help brands sell more stuff.
In March I wrote a post about the reason why I use Google+. In short, it’s only really down to one thing, and that thing is a little feature known as ‘Auto Awesome‘.
What Auto Awesome does is automatically add special effects to the photos that it thinks could do with them. Obviously this is all done separately from your main folder, so you don’t ruin your originals, but the net effect is actually quite fun and cool.
The awesomes themselves vary but my favourite is definitely when Google+ spots a batch of photos that look similar, and then throws them together to create an animated gif.
THE COMPETITION
Shortly after that post went live, I was alerted to a Google-sponsored Motion Photography competition at the Saatchi Gallery (that obviously lent itself to the creation of these Auto Awesomes).
Of the six categories available, I entered this one into the Urban category –
I didn’t win.
Boo.
BUT I DID MAKE IT AS A FINALIST!
Which means:
My work was judged by film director Baz Luhrmann, artists Tracey Emin, Shezad Dawood and Cindy Sherman, and Saatchi Gallery CEO, Nigel Hurst – AMAZING!
My work is at this very moment on display in the Saatchi Gallery – SPEECHLESS!
And that’s pretty darn awesome.
As you can see, I’ve already been to see my stuff (and the rest of the entries, including the rather excellent winning entrants) and the whole exhibition is pretty special.
It’s an odd feeling, having work up in the Saatchi. It didn’t really hit me until I was leaving, just how lucky I am to have stuff there. The other work that has appeared in that building. The other artists. The effort.
I’m still a bit dumbfounded by it all really.
_______________
The Motion Photography Prize is on display on the top floor of Saatchi Gallery, King’s Road, SW3 4RY until 24 May.
Short post covering off five things that happened this past seven days.
Regular readers will know I run a feature called ‘Five things on Friday‘ and I very nearly included these things in that, but then I realised it went against my own brief for that (e.g.: things about me might not actually be that interesting), so I broke them out into a separate post.
3. The Mobile World Congress edition of The Voicemail went live. If you only ever listen to one episode of this weekly mobile technology podcast, make it this one. It’ll prime you with all the mobile knowledge you’ll need for the rest of the year. Probably.
4. The Guardian wrote about ‘the secret to viral marketing‘ and they asked me to comment. I commented. They published it. Before you click through, can you guess what the secret is?
Overall, stats-wise, 2013’s numbers are down on 2012’s. As you can see below –
This is down to a number of things. First off, in 2012 I wrote up ‘Five things on Friday‘ every single week, without fail (maybe I should bring that back for 2014). Blogging regularly increases traffic – who knew?
That lift in 2012 combined with a general decrease in posts this year means the disparity is quite large. I’m not kidding on the post decrease either. YOY 2013 has seen my lowest publishing rate for some time. The lowest in seven years in fact.
So why the dip in output? 2013 has been a very busy year.
WORK
I’ve had pretty much had two jobs for most of 2013 (this is changing next month, but more on that in the New Year – shh), which has been as fantastic as it has challenging. From awesome travel brands kicking ass on Twitter, through to award-winning innovations for an online furniture retailer. To say 2013 had been ‘a bit full on’, would be an understatement – but in the best of ways.
I’m staying true to my mantra of ‘Great work, with inspiring people‘ – and long may it continue.
AMBITION
This time 12mths ago, I set out two very public ambitions. Speaking and Running. How did I do? In the former I set out to beat 2012’s rather lacklustre total of THREE and at least match 2011’s total of SIX.
Looking back over 2013, it looks like I topped out at a grand total of TEN. Each one unique in its own way and each one different from the one before. If you helped me achieve this goal in 2013, then thank you very much – I am chuffed that I managed to beat it so definitively.
On the running front, I started on Jan 1st 2013 at zero. I’m finishing on Dec 31st at 228km, with a couple of charity efforts in there for good measure.
In the New Year I intend to continue these two even further. The speaking one I’ll continue plugging away at it – it isn’t the number of gigs, it’s the intention to keep doing them (and I’ve already got three pencilled in for 2014, and I figure that should be my baseline). And on the running front, I fully intend to smash the 300k marker for 2014.
Prediction 1: The outsourcing of community management to emerging markets I’ve got no proof of this happening yet. But I still think it will, if it hasn’t already (and I just haven’t seen it).
Prediction 2: 2screening + Advertising The big thing I covered here was about ‘super micro targeting’, eg: Twitter allowing media planners to buy against actual TV shows. BOOM.
Precition 3: 4G networks spurring further innovation I think I might have been a bit too hopeful on this front. 4G isn’t really hitting the ground here in the UK quite yet, so maybe it’ll be another year or so until it bears fruit.
Final score? 1/3.
Rubbish. My predictions for next year are out, hopefully I’ll do better next time.
FILM & MUSIC & GAMING
Film: I really went for it this year, I saw loads but managed an average of one write up a month (12 film reviews). Music: Spotify’s got me covered.
Gaming: I jumped off the Xbox ship and went for the PlayStation 4.
You should do the same.
I’ll be honest, 2013 has been a veritable roller-coaster of a ride. With super high ups, and woefully low downs. At one point, I honestly didn’t know if I was going to make it out alive. But here I am, in spite of it all, still kicking and at the precipice of a whole new chapter.
Who knows how it will work out.
I made a decision a couple of years back to keep a fair chunk of my personal life offline, and I’m pleased to say that I’m sticking to it. My friends, my true friends know where it’s at – and that’s all that matters.
There are some amazing people out there that have helped me through this past year. Friends and colleagues, old and new – you know who you are.
Sorry to scare you but I genuinely want to help you guys out!
This year, I went as a hipster werewolf victim post-attack and mid-transformation.
Why? WHY NOT!
How? Ok, that’s a better question.
First off, I had an old white jacket and an old pair of white trousers that aren’t part of a suit but do go together. Collectively I’ve worn them about three times over the course of six years. So I hacked those up with a pair of scissors. Next up, the feet and the hands were left over from THIS COSTUME (amazing, I know) from last year.
And then I sought out these additional items:
Contact lenses: £10
Moulded werewolf teeth: £7
Make up set from Charles H. Fox* in Covent Garden: £24
Everyone’s reaction at the party: PRICELESS.
(Sorry, had to)
As many of my friends will tell you, I take my fancy dress pretty darn seriously. Planning is everything. But that aside, whatever you’re getting up to this Halloween**, have an awesome time.
RAAARGH!!!
*Does not include the three months of theatrical make up training I completed in my youth.
**Amazingly, I’m not actually out on the 31st this year. My party was at the weekened. Instead I’m off to see THOR: THE DARK WORLD with some friends. Expect a review shortly after…
BONUS TIPS: Go check out YouTube user ‘Kickine‘, I follow her on Instagram (same name) and the stuff she’s been doing all week is AWESOME (and of course there’s how to videos on her channel)
1. I got busy.Â
It happens. Between work (more on that shortly), organising and speaking at events, and generally a whole bunch of other stuff; life has been a bit hectic. As I said, it happens.
2. No more blogging projects (for the time being at least).
Well, Five things on Friday came to an end, which meant no more enforced blogging, which in turn took my brain out of the habit of writing [here]. Trimming is still on-going, but what with the whole Google Reader thing, I’m loathe to dive into them at the moment.
3. Podcasting. The Voicemail is where you can find my mobile rantings, in audio format obviously. My co-host is back from his travels now and we’re about to get back into the swing of things. A good time to subscribe, I’d say.
4. Other blogging. I mentioned getting busy; we relaunched the Ogilvy Soho Square blog (oh yeah, I don’t work in PR anymore, I should write something about that) which, at the time of posting, is 100% my own domain, just while I get it off the ground and cajole a few members of the team into taking part. There are a few posts up already, some silly, some not. If you’re into social media and the latest thinking (of mine) around it, then I suggest you add Soho Square to your reading list too. Follow us on Twitter for when we publish…
5. What of My Happy Place?Â
All of the above means that blogging here is coming last on the list (again, for the time being), but I’ve got a couple of things coming down the pipeline – including my first ever GUEST POST from the one and only Bizhan Govindji.
Amazing, I know.
Here’s a question for you, what’s the most exciting thing you’re working on right now?
This past week, thanks to a rather awesome Christmas present, I was given the chance to appear in a cameo role in the current West End run of Monty Python’s SPAMALOT!
AND.
IT.
WAS.
AWESOME.
Looking back on it now, a good four days later, I still can’t believe it happened! It’s difficult to communicate (using just the written word) how great the whole thing really was. So it’s a good job I took a load of pictures to help me tell the story!
Part 1. Arriving at the Stage Door The crew greeted us warmly, and were just super super nice about EVERYTHING. ‘Hey! James is here!’ – ‘Is that the Sir Not Appearing?’ – ‘Yeah!’ – ‘Hey everyone! Our Sir Not Appearing is here!’
I turned up with literally zero knowledge of what I was going to be doing or what my line was (didn’t I mention? It was a speaking part too!) as I was kept in the dark right up until arrival. So this whole ‘Sir Not Appearing’ thing? I had no idea what they meant…
The stage manager met us and explained everything:
There’s a part in the play, around two thirds through the first act, when the narrator, after King Arthur has rounded up his men, reads through the names of the Knights of the Round Table… and the last name he reads is ‘the aptly named ‘Sir-not-appearing-in-this-play’. You come on at that point, you say ‘Sorry!’ and then you leave. Easy! Don’t worry, we’ll be rehearsing at around 730pm, plenty of time!
Any fan of the original Monty Python and the Holy Grail knows that this only a slight variation on the film’s script:
NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur’s knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow: Sir Launcelot the Brave; Sir Galahad the Pure; and Sir Robin the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill; and the aptly named Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Film. Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries, the Knights of the Round Table.
Part 2. Costume!
[Note – for reasons that will become clear very shortly, I had to shave off my beard. I look about 12yrs old! ARRGH!]
3. Meet the star! For this run (initially scheduled for a limited six week run but now, thanks to its popularity, on an indefinite extension) of SPAMALOT! King Arthur is played by the one and only Stephen Tompkinson.
And what a bloody nice bloke he is too.
Part of the evening’s plan (aside from being a special guest star (ahem, yes – that’s me)) was to meet Stephen backstage and chat to him about all things Python. Again, something I didn’t know was happening until the night and again, something equally brilliant for me to do!
Things Stephen told me about Spamalot:
His daughter, with whom he has watched Monty Python’s Holy Grail several times a year, every years, since she was six years old, was the one to convince him to take the role! ‘You’d make me so proud, Daddy!’ – she said to him. ‘How could I say no to that’ he said. Awww!
His rehearsal process was a mere ten days. TEN. DAYS. Mental. Alright that’s a pretty intense ten days, but still – I can’t imagine. Fortunately for Stephen, he is only one of two new additions to the cast (the other being the quite brilliant AJ Casey, as The Lady of the Lake) so the ensemble already in place not only welcomed him with open arms but also supported him every step of the way.
The name of the game [on this production at least] is Fun! That’s what the director told Stephen on his first night – ‘Just forget your troubles, get out on that stage and have a riot. The audience want to have fun with you, so just have a ball!’
This new [ish] version of the play is a lot more inclusive and open than it was in the Palace and is updated accordingly to very current affairs – songs as well!
What a lovely chap. And there was still so much more to come!
4. Rehearsals
Again, another moment for the cast to be warm and welcoming. I got my part right first time, and they all cheered and whooped.. Ha! Just, brilliant.
5. Waiting!
6. Final, blurry adjustments Armour, moustache, and beard (yes, that’s right – I shaved my beard so I could wear a fake one, brilliant).
Before showtime!
7. The show! Backstage the atmosphere was, how can I put it? Hilarious. Laughter, jokes, and merriment were spewing forth from everyone – and that was before anyone was on stage! It was such a great group of people to be around; they clearly loved their work very, very much and every single person who walked past whilst I was waiting in the wings stopped to wish me luck, before they themselves stepped out in front of 700+ people.
Just lovely, lovely people.
When my cue – ‘and the aptly-named…‘ – came I strutted out on stage and beamed at the audience – ‘…Sir-not-appearing-in-this-play!’
In four beats: the knights looked at me, I looked at them, I looked back at the audience, and then came the line:
‘SORRY!!!’
And the next thing I knew, I was off again – to roars of laughter!
The audience’s reaction was great, and I was grinning from ear to ear.
I was [and still am really] utterly dumbfounded that the whole thing took place at all. I can’t believe it. It was just brilliant.
The team backstage told us that the role of ‘Sir Not Appearing’ is usually played by one of the ensemble however they often throw it open to special guest stars such as celebrities and/or comedians who can come on and kill with that role. In other words, for me to get the opportunity to do it was very special indeed.
Just. Wow.
And while I can’t guarantee that I’m going to be in it next time, I can 100% guarantee that seeing this play will make you laugh. A LOT. I laughed like a madman, both backstage during act one and then again when I joined the audience for act two.
So yes, go and see Spamalot. Please. It’s AWESOME. Hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny, and… and the cast just has so much fun.
It would be unfair of me to mention the epic corpsing that took place during the Knights that say Ne segment, so I won’t.
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