Good evening one and all – its 1859 here and today has been a good (if a little expensive) day..
We’ll get there..
So yeah – this morning I was all set for a day on the beach (the Sun was out and everythin) but by the time I’d got my backside in gear – the skies opened and just chucked it down!
Grr! Never mind – so I sat down with this American chick called Kim – she;s 41 and doesn’t look it …at all… (Hi Kim – you owe me if you’re reading this!) ..so yeah – we had a good chat over breakfast.. well – she ate, I watched.. Kim’s been fasting for 20 days – crazy – and today she broke her fast.. so fair play to Kim. Anywhoo – we spent a good hour just comparing drunk stories – and then chatted hobbies and stuff – snowboardin’, wake/kneeboardin’ etc.. it was all good.
Anyway – the plan was to locate our friends and ask them if she fancied a walk down the beach.. but it was still raining when they turned up and then by the time we spoke to they they’d already made plans.. ah well.
So yeah – eventually the Sun came back out and as Plan A went tits up.. onto Plan B: Sunbathe! So I did my colema and afterwards I fell in with Kim and the pair of us strolled down the beach to the nicer part.. where upon we decided to sunbathe..it was cool. In fact – she’s cool. She’s a Cancer – and Cancer’s are great to talk to for Scorpios.. so yeah – we got on like a house on fire.. no attraction – a bit of cheeky flirting but that was it.. so yeah – we were like.. “Lets sunbathe!” …ten mins later.. “Lets go for a swim!” …then about 10mins after that…. “Hmm.. I wonder how much those Jetskis are to rent…!” ..so off we toddled and hired ourselves a ‘Waverunner’ each.. one of those great big sit down ones y’know?
It was awesome – I’ve never been on one before and I had SUCH a laugh….
….until we were playing chicken right.. (yes – I know – very silly – it wasn’t chicken per se – we were just buzzing along together y’know) ..so yeah – Kim was turning and didn’t realise how close she was to my Jetski.. ..and then “CRACK” her jetski rode up over mine (good job she was turning or else my head woulda come off) and broke the wing-mirror off the side of my jetski…WHOOPS!
So yeah – we’d paid 1000bht each per jetski for 40mins right.. so thats about 14quid or so – not too bad.. so we head back to the beach like a couple of kids who’ve really messed up this time… and yeah we were like:
“Sorry! Didnt meeeean tooooo!”
Hmm.. anyway – the bloke there called his boss and then that boss called his boss and eventually there were four of them studiously examining both jetskis.. they were pointing out all sorts of damage on the jetskis that no way in hell had we done.. so I wasnt getting angry or anythin’, I just knew how this was gonna go down y’know? They were gonna try and fleece us and I wasnt gonna let that happen..
So yeah – the boss man sits down and he’s like –
“ok ok ok.. wingmirror – no buy one – only buy two.. so that 6000bht.. then there fibreglass damage… that 2000bht.. then 3000bht for each boat for lost rental..(that part was on the contract that we signed before hand) total… 14,000bht”
As he was saying this he was writing it all on paper so we could see how he totted it up right.. anyway..
FYI – 14,000bht = 200quid.
Balls to that.
So I looked this bloke in the eye and said:
“Right – first off – you CAN buy singular mirrors, I’ve got a jetski at home.. and I KNOW pal..so that can be halved straight off the bat..” I crossed out his 6k and wrote 3.. then.. “Also.. that fibreglass damage could well have been already there so I we ain’t payin’ for that..” ..crossing that out as I’m saying it.. writing a big fat ZERO.. then.. “..and mate – there’s only one jetski damaged so you can half that one too..” ..I crossed his 6k out and again I wrote 3. I then totalled the lot up to 6,000bht…
The bloke next to the boss man added my two 3k’s onto my 6k and went to write 12k…
“Nah mate… six thousand baht.. no more”
“Okay…” he says..
Right – so THEN I get my wallet – and I know for a FACT that there’s no way on Earth that I bought 6k out with me.. I had about 700bhts in change, 45USD in various denominations and 20quid in two tenners..
So I said to him “You can have all that.. “
First off – I don’t think he saw the one dollar bills in my wodge of dollars – I think he just saw the ten dollar bills.. and then he saw the two tenners and a puzzled look came across his face.. “How much?” ..he said.. “Ah…” said I “..they’re about 1000bhts each..” LIE! They’re about 700 – tops.
So yeah – I did give him all the cash I had – but in the end I gave him about 3,900bht…. Three Thousand Nine Hundred… from 14,000! I think I did bloody well if I’m honest!
So yeah, did that – and walking back Kim said – “Hang on.. didnt you say that was your first time on a Jetski?” … “Yeah dude.. it was..” I said, grinning.. She couldnt believe it! “Not a twitch!” Kim exclaimed! Hahaahaha.. complete poker face.. brilliant. So in the end we paid about 40quid for their loss of rental and about fifteen quid for the wing mirror..
Sorted.
(I am superskint now mind.. Hmmm.. have to try and sort somethin out.. )
But – to be honest – that amount ain’t too bad split between two people.. so yeah – that was just in the space of 90mins! So me and Kim came back after an exhausting and funny (and expensive) lunch date as it were…hahaha.. came back – told loads of people about it – well funny. Told these two girls who joined us and in the end the four of us went and played pool together round the corner in the bar.. that was cool too – the two girls are Canadian and I was the only Brit – very funny – the two girls were lesbisans but not together – just mates – but we were just having a laugh.. taking the mick out of each other and stuff – had a right giggle.. in fact.. I think we’re going out dancin’ later.. which should be funny! No Alcohol?!
DUDE! HOW WILL I SURVIVE!
So yeah – I’ll let you know how that goes in the morning..
( in other news – my Nintendo DS seems to have died – Dunno what to do about that )
But yeah – I gotta go grab a detox drink – I’m 30mins late for it!
So laters dudes.. til next time.
whatleydude.com 
