Seen Prometheus? Let’s talk

There be spoilers here. Non-spoiler review also available.

DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN PROMETHEUS

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Still here? Right. Let’s do this –

There is a metric ton of stuff that stood out for me in Prometheus. Most of it awesome, and most of it covered off in my review last weekend, however some of the more WTF?! moments need to be addressed too.

This past Wednesday, I caught up with my mate Charlie, and eventually the conversation turned to Ridley Scott’s latest. And boy, did we go off on one.

So much so in fact, that we made a list

15 WTF MOMENTS from Prometheus

1. Face-raping phalluses
From Maggots? WTF?

2. “Fatherrr…”
Overacted, much? WTF?

3. “RUN LEFT! RUN LEFT!”
Pretty much the entire cinema. Why didn’t she run left? Why didn’t EITHER OF THEM run left? Or run right for that matter? Why?! WTF?

4. WHY DID NO ONE MENTION THE ALIEN ABORTION?
WT actual F? Seriously. THE MOST HARROWING SCENE IN THE FILM and no one talks about it. You’d be all like ‘Hey there Idris Elba, yeah, I’m fine. Just.. y’know, don’t go in that room over there… What’s that? Why? Oh.. no reason..’ – WTF?!

5. Zombie dude at the door
Why oh why did the mapping chap (who incidentally was the same guy that got lost in the alien structure) suddenly turn into a zombie? When no one else did? WTF?

6. “It’s an invitation…” – TO SPACE!
A fair few people have mentioned the huge leap from standing in a cave somewhere in the Isle of Skye straight into space several years later. I’m all for cutting out unnecessary plot but still – WTF?

7. Intuitive UIs from the Future
Gee, those engineer wall engravings are pretty darn intuitive aren’t they? What, are they like, the equivalent of an iPhone unlock screen? How did David just ‘know‘ what to do there? That UI must’ve been pretty well labelled up, right? W.T.F.

8. No character development of the other characters (read: red shirts)
This isn’t so much a ‘WTF’ but more, we didn’t see much of the characters just sat around doing naff all. I’m thinking Alien here, obviously. But I wanted more interaction here. Oh, and Charlie had a major issue with generally not getting to know the husband all that much before CHARLIZE THERON BURNED HIM TO DEATH.  WTF?!

9. NO BABIES > PREGNANT > ALIEN
I haven’t timed this but, I’m fairly sure it was only about fifteen minutes of exposition from ‘I can’t have babies’ to ‘pregnant’ to ‘oh my God I’m giving birth to a massive face-raping squid creature’.
So let’s review: NO BABIES > PREGNANT > ALIEN. In fifteen minutes. WTF?!

10. Under-usage of [potentially] great characters
Our two geologists don’t get nearly enough screen time and I reckon there’s easily room here for some kind of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern-esque side story/whole other film based around what these two get up to when they’re not onscreen. Yeah, so someone go do that. Thanks.

11. Did Idris Elba actually get any?
‘My room. Ten minutes.’ – I’m thinking he did. But still, it was kinda left open. Not really a ‘WTF?’ more ‘DTF?’

12. HELMET OFF
This one is one of Charlie’s (actually, most of these are co-written), but how come Noomi took her helmet off when she rescued David’s head?
‘But you could breathe in there’ – I said to Charlie, ‘THE HULL WAS BREACHED!’ he yelled back at me. Eesh. Charlie’s right – WTF?

13. Tony Harrison
Speaking of David’s head, did anyone else notice the similarity between him and Tony Harrison? Master of strategem, he should definitely come with his own papoose.

14. The Final Frontier!
The end – well, the bit before the very end anyway – is all a bit too Star Trek. Seriously, the moment that ship whooshed into space, I fully expected to hear the music from The Next Generation kick in. WTF?

15. Engine Consistency. For realsies.
Finally, if that second engineer spaceship could whizz off into space the way it did, why the hell didn’t the first one do the same? Instead of chugging along like something out of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Why?!

WTF, RIDLEY? WTF?!

And I’m spent.

For what it’s worth, I still stand by my original review: Prometheus is still well worth seeing. Definitely in the cinema, definitely in 3D and, where possible, definitely in IMAX as well.

Your comments are welcome.

Other interesting reading:

The Alien Connection, explained – via Screenrant
The (quite frankly awesome) missing plot strand – via Reddit
Prometheus Unbound (fantastic analysis) – via Cavalorn

 

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Author: James Whatley

http://whatleydude.com/

33 thoughts on “Seen Prometheus? Let’s talk”

  1. Number 4: a guy two seats away from me stumbled out his chair and all down the stairs to the toilet at this point. Think he was a bit sickie!
    Number 9: David told her she was 3 months pregnant, next thing she was taking it out. But I suppose it was a monster alien thing that probably grew soooooo fast so quickly?
    Number 5 (kinda): the mapping guys little red ‘mappers’ reminded me of the Golden Snitches from Harry Potter. That’s just a wee aside though 🙂

    I loved the scenery, I quite liked the film but towards the end (mostly when the weird creatures appeared) I remember thinking to myself this is ridiculous, which in itself is ridiculous because I’d watched Snow White and the Huntsman the night before and (SPOILER ALERT) thought nothing of the bridge that turned into a troll or a dwarf sized Ray Winstone!
    🙂

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    James Reply:

    That’s hilarious about point 4.

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  2. I’m still digesting, and think I’ll need a repeat viewing or two. But for point 5…

    Seriously dude? The American Scientist who was dating / impregnating noomi was ‘turning’ the geo-mapper dude had ‘turned’ same markings / damage to skin. His enlarged cranium suggested that whatever smashed through his helmet had either mutated him, or my guess, had parasitically taken up residence in his head. I thought that one was a gimme, the rest of your points I’m pretty much WTF-ing with you.

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    James Reply:

    So what about Rafe Spall? He didn’t Zombify did he? Why were his legs all up and over like a spider? What’s with the super-zombie-strength?

    TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

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  3. *grins* love this post dude. I haven’t been able to stop dissecting this film and reading other people’s interpretations. http://cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html#cutid1 covers off some *really* interesting theories. Waaaay too many questions raised and very few answered.

    Must go back and re-watch it with less cynicism soon. :))

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    James Reply:

    Ha! Well, we did kinda co-write it, mate 😉

    Ps. I absolutely LOVE that post you’ve just linked to. It’s immense. Favourite bit? The way he verbalises point 3:

    “Meredith Vickers, of course, has no interest in self-sacrifice. Like her father, she wants to keep herself alive, and so she ejects and lands on the planet’s surface. With the surviving cast now down to Vickers and Shaw, we witness Vickers’s rather silly death as the Engineer ship rolls over and crushes her, due to a sudden inability on her part to run sideways. Perhaps that’s the point; perhaps the film is saying her view is blinkered, and ultimately that kills her. But I doubt it. Sometimes a daft death is just a daft death.”

    Excellent work.

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  4. Surgery scene/alien abortion is just ridiculous; it is like the woman had no abdominal organs (not human or just bad biology?), just the baby alien. No bleeding, no shock, and then running with “some” abdominal pain… also, the amniotic kind of fluid did not contaminate her?
    Why did the engineer’s head exploded green stuff and not blood? Aren’t they suppose to be 100% similar to humans?
    100% similarity to human DNA is just not possible, specially with first scene explaining how humans were created….

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  5. It was SO full of holes and inconsistencies, but all-in-all I really enjoyed it – the intro stuck with me for days, as did the “astrometrics” holography on the alien ship.. absolutely breathtaking.

    F*ck 3D though – it’s just so dark and jarring – in some shots the focus was wrong (the shot of the androids hand on the cryopods in the alien control room – the hand was out of focus, even though it was the only thing to look at). Why can’t they show it in IMAX in 2D?

    Also, bring on 48 FPS Mr. Jackson – full-screen panning just embarrases IMAX.

    And what is that big gun thing the Engineer sits on? Seems a bit sub-optimal.. you can navigate or shoot at things.. but not both!

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  6. 4. And why was a DIY surgery box that was only configured for surgery on men only equipped with forceps that are only ever used for grabbing a baby’s head during a C-Section?

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    James Reply:

    *Applause*

    You sir, win the honorary distinction of ‘No. 16’. Well done.

    Actually, thinking about it, it was merely ‘configured’ for men only. That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be equipped with the tools for both sexes.

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    David Carrington Reply:

    More to the point – why is it only configured for men? That’s ridiculously stupid. Who owns this device?

    Fair enough they explained the hardware was rare but surely it’s software that decides what surgery is available.

    [Reply]

    James Reply:

    I thought that part was clarified when Weyland appeared towards the end?

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  7. I’ve been trying to work out the dates since it first appeared on screen, but essentially what was the last time the Engineers visited Earth as I presumed the opening scene was basically the dawn of life on this planet? The holo Earth on the planet was current geology – i.e. post continental breakup and so forth.

    This is all probably nonsense and I should have paid attention more at school.

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    James Reply:

    Did you read/see that whole part about the 2000 year carbon-dating?

    *cough* Jesus-reference *cough*

    (but yeah, good spot re: Pangea)

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  8. The failure to dodge sideways is a longstanding, universal character flaw. It must be Hollywood canon by now: “When being pursued, character MUST RUN IN FRONT OF PURSUING ENTITY. IN WIDE-OPEN SPACES. PERIOD.”

    That’s all I can figure.

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  9. Let’s not forget the ‘Fella’s I’m reading a life form near you…possibly, anyway I’m off to get drunk/got to sleep/ shag Charlize’ moment.
    And if they have equipment that can detect life forms, why didn’t it detect the worms? Unless they aren’t indigenous, in which case, where the hell did they come from?
    And what is this magical ability that Lizzy Shaw has to convince three people to commit suicide by flying their ship into the Jockeys just by asking them too?

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    James Reply:

    Y’know what? You’re totally right about that. When I saw that happen I was thinking ‘Hmm, is the Captain in on this?’ as in, was he trying to get loads of people infected.

    But no, you’re spot on. Ridiculous.

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  10. And (and this is the big one, the one that baffles me the most) where did David’s step ladder come from!?

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  11. You know Whatley, I have Cronos on DVD and have still never watched it. That’s now next on my list.

    [Reply]

    James Reply:

    I haven’t seen that either (or the Devil’s Backbone), we should arrange a session, dude.

    [Reply]

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